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Baseball Analysis  John Holway

The Games’ Funniest Characters


 John B Holway


Before every home game at Fenway, a fellow named Dropkick Murphy and his band

play “Tessie,” the song which had sparked the Red Sox and Braves to victory in

1903, 04, 12, 14, and 15.  Murphy revived it in 2004, and you know the rest.

After a long search, I have finally found Dropkick’s "Tessie" CD, and it's


He did a 1903 version and a 2004 version, and they're both the same, except the

words.  Bam! Slam! SHOUT! Crash! Ka-BLOOM! If I was Tessie, I'd drop the Sox

like a hot foul tip (I think she already has) until they play her damn song



He even threw in “Athenry,” a heart-achingly sad and haunting Irish classic, and

it sounded exactly like "Tressie.”


Can't the Sox ask guest artists to take turns singing “Tessie” and then pick a

winner?  It still may not be too late.


For the seventh inning stretch, I suggest another Irish oldie and goodie, “Casey

Lowered the Boom.”

 My friend, Gabe Schechter (aka – try it, you’ll like it) is not

surprised.  He cites statistics to prove that three out of four National Anthems

are mangled in major league parks every day. 


I replied that the worst one was Jose Feliciano at a Tigers World Series game.

But he sneered at my ignorance. The absolute worst, he said, was Roseanne Barr,

and since Gabe is a research associate at Cooperstown, he must have the numbers

to prove it.


So here’s the challenge: Can you name the worst National Anthem you’ve ever

heard?  The winner gets to listen to Dropkick for one solid hour. Second place

is two hours. 


John B Holway is author of TED, the Kid

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