JUNE 2014:  THE 134TH  ARTICLE FOR BASEBALL GURU

                                                   ONEMOREINNING

   HA, HA, HA

HILARIOUS BASEBALL JOKES AND SOME NOT SO HILARIOUS

       

    Harrry and Morty are lifelong friends. One day Harry hears that Morty is on his deathbed. He rushes to his side and says, "Morty, I hear you're dying.  Please give me a sign when you get to heaven and let me know if there's baseball in Heaven……because if there isn't I'm not going there!" And Murray answers, "I'll do the best I can."

   One week goes by, two weeks, three weeks and no sign from Morty. Finally Harry rushes over too Morty's graveside, "Morty, Morty, you promised me on your deathbed that when you get to heaven you…suddenly there's thunder and lightning, the clouds open up, and there's Morty's face smiling down from above.

   "Morty you've come back……so is there baseball in Heaven?"

   "Harry, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that, yes, there's plenty of basball up here. You get up in the morning, have breakfast and play a morning game. We then have lunch and go out and play a doubleheader. After an early supper we put the heavenly lights on and play a night game."

    "So what's the bad news?"

    "The bad news is that you're pitching tomorrow!"

 

    A rookie was pitching his first game. He then proceeded to walk every man he faced (five in all). Finally the manager came to the mound and removed him from the game.

    The rookie stormed into the dugout, flung his glove to the ground and blurted out, "Would you believe this, the jerk of a manger pulled me from the game and here I was pitching a no hitter!"

 

   A recent visitor from Spain attends his very first game ever at Yankee Stadium. Most of the seats  were sold and so he was seated right next to the flagpole.

   When he came back to Spain his friends asked him what the Americans were like…..how was he treated.

    "Oh the Americans are fine people and so courteous. Before the ball game started they all stood up, looked in my direction, and sang Jose can you see."

 

   It was such a foggy day that the Cubs couldn't even  see who the heck was beating them!

 

   One day the Devil and the Lord got together and decided to have a baseball game. The lord began to laugh and said, "Forget it, you're going to lose. I have Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, and every great player up here with me".

   The Devil just smirked and said,"So what, I have all the Umpires!"

 

   Two occupants are walking down a street in Hell and suddenly it begins to snow. One of them looks up and says, "Well it finally has happened, the Cubs must have won a World Series."

 

   Why did the manager take Cinderella off the baseball team?

   She ran away from the ball.

 

Next Month:Part two