Hell, if KY Jelly went off the market the whole Cal. Angel's pitching staff would be out of baseball.

People are too hung up on winning. I can get off on a good helmet throw.

If it had been me out there, I'd have bitten his ear off. I'd have Van Gogh'ed him.

The only rule I got is if you slide get up.

You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church.

I'm mad about Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I     threw him his last homerun and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now I'll have to throw him another.

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be.

You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a Church!

You take a team with 25 assholes & I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.

The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything.

I don't smoke that much. Whatever I smoked last night is my favorite.

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